The Idiot Who Cut Me Off

Sometimes I forget that people are people.

Does that make sense?

I was reminded this weekend to see a person in every person. A soul in every body. An individual in every human. And this is the most important rule that I hang on to.

There's something called the fundamental attribution error (FAE), which you probably have heard of if you've taken an introductory psychology course. (If you didn't hear about it in your class, you probably weren't paying attention, or your teacher was totally robbing you of important information.) Now, sorry to break it to you dear friends of mine, but humans make a lot of mistakes that we are not always aware of. The basic idea of the FAE is that we tend to overestimate how much someone else's personal attributes are influencing their actions, and we underestimate how much that someone's situation is influencing their actions. Por ejemplo...

Have you ever been cut off by that idiot during rush hour? He's a total a**hole, right? But here's another question, and be honest about this one. Have you ever cut someone off during rush hour? Chances are you have, and you probably don't consider yourself a bad person. If you have ever cut someone off, you may have had a perfectly good reason (the guy behind you was about to rear-end your car). Do you see what I'm getting at?

I've noticed that I become much less judgmental when I admit that I don't know the situations that people are in. The driver who I think is recklessly speeding may have a friend in the hospital. The teacher who I think is inconsiderate of her students may be going through a divorce. The person drinking the energy drink may have had to stay up all night with a sick child. It's really hard to give people excuses for their actions. But I'm not giving them excuses. I'm simply trying to put myself in their shoes, and acknowledging the fact that I will probably never know why the person in the suit is yelling over the phone. Perhaps they are really mean, but perhaps they are expressing their frustration at some unmentionable injustice. Perhaps it's a combination of the two.

It's the last day of 2013. Tonight, when you look around at the people at the party, or the restaurant, or even the TV, give them a chance to be a person.

Happy last day of 2013! :)


TL;DR: A person's a person, if only you notice.

Thanksgiving Work Week Day #3: I am Homo sapien and so are you

I am going into the world of religion and nationality, goodness help me.


Have you ever heard someone say, "She's French, but her husband is Jewish."
or
"I hear you're marrying a Canadian guy. Is that going to work, since you're Muslim?"
or
"Are you making apple pie tonight? I can bring some oranges."

To me they all sound like the last one. I have been hearing religion compared to nationality my entire life. Well, it doesn't make sense. You can't compare a belief system to your place of birth/living. Why do people do this?! It drives me insane!!!

We're all human, baby!

So this holiday season (can you smell the cinnamon and nutmeg yet?), be aware that people may celebrate in ways that combine a nation's traditions and a religion's holiday, and any combination is A-OK. (As long as we're all playing nice.) My family is Polish, but we celebrate an American holiday. Your family might be Buddhist and celebrate Hannukah. Who knows? And honestly, who cares? As long as celebrations/traditions are treated with due respect, I think all kinds can be celebrated by whoever wants.

Regarding the history of Thanksgiving, I don't know enough about the complicated going-ons of Europeans and Native Americans to discuss it, but I do know one thing. The fact the humans have so many different cultures is amazing and beautiful, but thinking that we are not all in this together is pretty dumb. So go crazy today after you get off work and go hug a fellow human or something. :)

You can even play this, and make a dance party:

Maybe you need something a little less enthusiastic (and less painful):

TL;DR: "I'm made of atoms, you're made of atoms, we're all in this together." Ben Lee